I Was Just Being Honest… Why Did You Get Defensive?

You know that feeling when you finally get the courage to say what’s been on your heart?

You breathe in.

You prepare yourself.

You try to say it gently, carefully, truthfully:

"Hey… when you said that, it really hurt."

Or maybe, "I need more support."

Or even just, "Can we talk about something that’s been bothering me?"

And then… their energy shifts.

Their tone changes.

They get loud. Or cold. Or start defending themselves, like you just attacked them.

Even though you weren’t trying to attack at all—you were just trying to be real.

And suddenly, instead of being heard, you’re left feeling like the bad guy.

Or too sensitive.

Or like, “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Yeah. That’s the part that hurts the most.

Honesty Is Hard—Especially for Heart-Centered People

As someone who feels deeply and holds space for others (as many of us in the Reiki or healing path do), it takes a lot to speak up.

We overthink. We don’t want to hurt anyone. We soften our words. We hold back.

So when we do speak—when we finally name a boundary or share a truth—it’s not to blame or shame. It’s to heal.

But if we’re met with defensiveness or anger, it doesn’t just sting… it shuts something down inside us.

And the next time we want to speak up?

We hesitate.

We question ourselves.

We stay quiet.

That’s how emotional distance forms. Not with big fights—but in the little moments where one person reaches out, and the other throws up a wall.

From a Reiki Lens: Safe Space Is Sacred

In Reiki, we talk a lot about creating safe energetic containers.

Before we even place our hands on someone, we ground, we center, we open ourselves up to be a neutral, loving channel.

Why?

Because healing can’t happen where there’s fear, judgment, or resistance.

It only happens in safety. In stillness. In trust.

The same goes for conversations.

If someone is reacting from their ego, if they’re defending themselves or turning the tables—there’s no space for your truth to land.

It’s like trying to pour water into a cup that’s turned upside down.

It’s Not Your Job to Manage Their Reaction

Here’s something I’ve had to learn (the hard way):

You are allowed to be honest, even if the other person isn’t ready to hear it.

Their defensiveness? That’s not yours to carry.

You don’t have to twist yourself into silence just to keep the peace.

Sometimes people can’t hold your truth because they haven’t learned how to hold their own yet.

Sometimes they feel so unsafe with the idea of being “wrong,” they forget how to be kind.

That’s not your failure. That’s their healing edge.

So What Can You Do?

💛 Honor yourself first. 

If you shared something from a grounded, kind place, you did well. You were brave.

💛 Breathe through the trigger. 

Their reaction may feel like rejection, but don’t let it rewrite your truth. Come back to your body. Place a hand on your heart. Let Reiki flow into the parts that feel stung or silenced.

💛 Set a boundary, if needed. 

Sometimes it’s as simple as, “It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk about this now. Let’s pause.” Or, “I don’t feel safe continuing this conversation if I’m not being heard.”

💛 Remember: your truth is still valid. 

Even if it wasn’t received well.

Final Thoughts (from my tender heart to yours)

If this has happened to you recently, I just want to say:

I see you.

You are not “too much.”

You are not “too sensitive.”

You’re just someone who wants real connection. Real honesty. Real love.

That’s not a weakness—it’s a strength.

And even when others can’t meet you there yet, it’s still worth honoring that part of you that speaks with courage and care.

Keep speaking.

Keep softening.

Keep choosing your truth.

With Reiki in your palms and love in your voice,you’re already creating a more honest, healing world.

One conversation at a time.

Are you defensive?